I’ve been involved in some form of ‘primary care giving’ (e.g. clean up your room you little bastards!) for long enough to understand the practical nature of various child gear. Here are some of the child gear I love to hate, but begrudgingly value its function:

Kid Thingy Function

Stroller

physical
captivity

Child seat

physical
captivity

Crib

physical
captivity

High-Chair

physical
captivity

Park

geographically
based captivity

Fenced
Back yard

physical
captivity

Bedroom

physical
captivity

T.V.

induced
virtual captivity

Stun Gun
(set on low)

portable
alternative to all of the above

Many of these tools are age appropriate for your babies, toddlers, and up through your children’s late teens. Some, like the bedroom, T.V. and fenced back yard, have life-long value.

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