Cute Little Bastards

There is no greater example of push and pull in my life than having my children on both sides of the country. I felt that most acutely yesterday as I hopped a plane from West Palm Beach to San Francisco to celebrate Max’s 16th birthday. I was shocked at how difficult it was to leave John and Julia behind - their faces grim and tears in their eyes. I spend all my time with them and it was hard on both of us to part. Then there is the excitement and joy to see my two older boys today. It is an experience that I am responsible for of course - I’m the man who moved away from the Bay Area and made us all go through these rather massive life adjustments.

I am so excited to see Max later today and to give him my blessings as he enters into manhood. Max came into our lives16 years ago today in Walnut Creek, after an incredibly difficult birth. Despite the rubbing and sun bathing under the lamp in the delivery room Max did not “pink up” as he was supposed to. He cried for sure, reassuring us that he was indeed alive. But that feeling of relief at labor being over, followed by the elation of his first cries, were followed minutes later by doctor’s frowns and then he was whisked away for testing and treatment. We had no idea that he had meningitis at that point - we only knew that something was really wrong.

Mercifully, Max responded to antibiotics immediately and once we were a couple of days in to his recovery in ICU it was clear he would be OK. There were other babies and their parents in the kids ICU that weren’t so lucky of course. A nice family had a son right next to Max and from the grim pallor surrounding him and his family it was apparent he would not make it. It’s like a heavy weight pressing down on your heart - to even be around that pain - never mind what the parents and family were experiencing. And what of that little lost soul? What has happened to him?

We take life for granted. I certainly do. But real life is fleeting. We ought to spend each moment soaking it up in celebration — but we don’t. 16 comes around if you are fortunate and only once. For Max I have the same wishes I imagine any father or mother would have. I want him to be happy - to continue to grow and experience life to its fullest. I want Max to know he’s loved and that for as long as I’m here he will have me to back him up - to turn to for guidance, advice and help. As I ran the closing miles of my marathon recently, it was thoughts of Max that came into my mind. I felt my experience was one he needed to know. Most importantly, that in the race of life, that we never give up and that we ask for help. I can think of no two more important things to say to Max as he enters into adulthood.

Son - never give up - live life to its fullest - ask for help from your friends and your family - live out loud!